The Holy Grail of Baseball Caps

Why is it so hard for me to find a goddamn North Carolina baseball cap? All I want is the same cap the baseball team wears. And they have four of them! I'm even willing to settle for an unofficial version of the cap. But they don't seem to exist.

The authentic cap is made by Nike. It's fitted, with a mesh material similar to that of the original New Era batting practice caps. Each cap has the standard interlocking "NC" logo. As far as I can tell, there are four different color schemes: White with navy blue brim and logo, White with Carolina blue brim and logo, Carolina blue with navy blue brim and white logo, and Navy blue with Carolina blue brim and logo.

The overwhelming majority of UNC caps, official or not, have the same "NC" logo, and feature the same three colors of white, navy blue, and Carolina blue. Obviously, the overwhelming majority of caps in general have three primary components: The crown, the brim, and the logo. So three colors times three components equals 9 basic combinations. The baseball team uses four of them. Their official website carries 54 different types of hats. And not a single one is one of those four combinations.

How frack is that possible? It defies the laws of probability. It doesn't make any damn sense. But that's how it's been forever.

Last year, after searching far and wide on the internet, I decided to call the UNC bookstore. Surely, they would have it. And they did! But they wouldn't sell it to me, because I'm not a student.

However, they did give me the name of a store I could try called Chapel Hill Sports Wear. From what I can tell, they're sort of UNC's version of Grandstand. I called them up, and they said that they did carry the cap, but were out of stock. Fortunately, they were scheduled to get more in at the start of the season. So I placed my order, and a few weeks later, my hat arrived. However, Nike's sizing was way larger than New Era's, and so the cap was way too big on my head.

I called the store back, and they said that I should return the cap with a note, and they would send me the correct size. But of course, by the time my cap arrived back in North Carolina, they were sold out of my size. And so, I still don't have a cap.

Last week I was at Lid's, and they had a version of the cap. But it was purposefully "weathered," with stains and tears. I'm thinking of picking one up out of desperation, but it seems kind of lame.

So if you ever happen to see an official UNC Baseball cap, pick one up for me. My size is 7 1/8, except for Nike, which is apparently a 7. I'll pay you back. Thanks.